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replica nightmare

Jul. 3rd, 2014 | 04:30 am

alex chubby cheeks 023

Punishment from the Burando Gods!!!

Jul. 3rd, 2014 | 04:22 am

So, the universe let me know in no uncertain terms that ordering a replica of a Baby dress will immediately be punished. Let me give myself some defense here. The print I want came out last year and I honestly don't see anyone selling it as there are, to my knowledge, four unicorn themed prints in all of Lolita existence. So, I thought about it.. and then I was like, eh, might as well. I just won't wear it to any meet-ups or formal functions. Problem solved. I placed my order on April 4th with a Taobao site that I won't name simply because they're very nice and I've had pleasant transactions with them and would maybe like to again depending on the resolution of the current issue. I received an email saying that the customization fee on my petticoat should have been fourteen dollars more so I immediately go pay it. A few weeks go by and my order still says processing. I contact the store and they say, Oh, we'll check on that immediately. And, they did. It was nice. My order got shipped right after that and it got here extremely fast. I ordered four items this time around.. kind of all pertaining to a coordinated look I wanted to achieve.. and three of four are exactly what I wanted.... But the fourth is a knock-off Hell. I ordered a replica of BtSSB's Unico in Bloomland. What I received is a very poorly planned knock-off of A Midsummer Night's Dream by AaTP. The bodice isn't right, the print is off and when the skirt fabric was cut, it was upside down and they sew it on that way. Y'know, because upside-down butterflies and windows aren't totally obvious or anything like that. Be loved because you are, Ten-chan '

weird dreams...

Mar. 31st, 2013 | 01:56 am
location: home
mood: paranoid
music: Why Don't You Do Right by Peggy Lee

So, in the past few days, I've watched Crybaby, played Kingdom Hearts and worked a lot of hours in between doin that other stuff. Hopefully, that's enough to explain this strange dream I had.

My dream started out with me working in Layaway and my unborn son was 3 years old in the dream. I'd lost my baby weight and was pretty well committed to rocking a semi pinup style look whenever I could. I was working the layaway counter at work which let me know it was a dream because I vowed to never do that shart again. It sucks ass. But, in the dream one of the photo lab ladies we'll call Merry had actually taken the ZMS overlord position because the current ZMS had retired and her words were, well... why not get paid for what I do all the time? I'm not saying he doesn't work by the way.. just that in the dream those were her opinions. He actually works really hard and is very good with customers. I adore him. I hope he doesn't retire soon. I'd be quite sad.. carryin on.. Working layaway with me was Axel from Organization 13 .... but if he looked less like an anime and more like a punk ginger dude. He was dating a girl from the nearby Hardware Dept and he asked our supervisor Merry if she could come work the layaway counter with him for ten minutes so he could see her as they worked opposite shifts and hardly had overlapping time.
She felt bad for him and said yes, but then because I was there and we can't have more than two working layaway at a time, she sent me to face Dairy. I don't know why. I think that was a throwback from Homeland... cos I faced Dairy every night when I worked O/Ns there. So I go and I face for like ten minutes on the yogurt/juice/butter wall area and the next thing I know, this girl I work with named Betty who would like to be a CSM in the future and is a CSM in my dream pops up next to me and says, "Girl, they've been looking for you!" So I said, "Who?" She responded, "Management has been on the radio looking for you because Merry said you wandered away!" I say, "She sent me over here to face ten minutes ago......I'm going to the office. This will be handled.." and then she laughs... and that's usually how we talk so yeah.
I get back to the office and it was the tiny office that we only use if the much larger office is already occupied and this new manager who'd only been working for two weeks was there and he tried to get all ugly about me wandering away and slacking off at work, but I got really up in his face and told him where I was, what I was doing, and why I was doing it. So he's like, ..."Oh, ...sit down for a minute. I need to get you calmed down before I send you back out." I sit down and he says, "I noticed you have been distracted lately. Can you explain that to me?" And at first I was like, wth he talkin bout?.. so he continues, "It's worse when you work with Axel." I laughed and said, "Oh yeah, I don't think he's cute or anything like that. He's about ten years younger than me. I'm usually thinking his name reminds me of a character from a video game and also that I hate his name because it's like my son's name.. but less awesome." And he says, "OK, tell me what video game?" "Kingdom Hearts." He then asks me to explain what that is so I do my best to give a quick explanation. So then he says, "So... that's nice and all, but why do you look the way you do?" I respond, .....wut? He elaborates with regards to my eyebrows, my rouge and my lipstick. I explain to him the classical look my grandmother wore that I like to recreate on myself. And for those of you who don't know.. I don't so much like the pin up look as the whole 1950s look. It's just easier to say pin-up. But because I've gotten in trouble for rocking a red lip at work before, I became fairly defensive again. So he stops my quiet ranting about the stagnant oppression of that place with a quick, "I was just gonna say I liked it!"
And, that effectively shut me up. So he continues, "So, would you like to grab a drink or something sometime? I don't mean I want to take you to the bar, just that I'd like to go somewhere with you." I immediately said, "THIS IS A TRAP!" and promptly spun around to see if there was another manager just waiting to fire me for "flirting" but there's nobody there and he looks vaguely hurt by my trap comment. So, I think about his offer.. he's not my direct boss. He's not a troll. I'm not dating anyone and he does have a job... that's pretty good. So I make a big production of looking at my watch and say, "I think, Sir, that you should ask me that again in three hours and fifteen minutes in the employee parking lot when I'm off the clock. You know, just to be on the legit side." And then I got up and did like an Old West style swag out of the office. And.. promptly woke up feeling paranoid as hell that it was a trap. Cause if that's not frakkin weird, I don't know anymore what is.

I miss you old friend..

Aug. 21st, 2012 | 02:23 am
mood: crushed crushed

So, in recent news: my life has made As the World Turns look positively drama-free.. and that makes me sad. I never realize how dramatic I'm being until someone points it out, and I'm not doing it because I like the attention.. I just get worked up real easily and then I kinda feel embarassed..which generally makes me cry.

3DS is the death of creativity

Feb. 24th, 2012 | 01:55 am
mood: calm calm

So... I bought my 3DS. And, I love playing it. And, I play the hell out of it. I'm stacking games up and playing them in sequential order,...but what that also means.. is that I'm not writing as much. Like...not nearly as much. I went from ten pages a day to one a day. And, no.. I wasn't setting limits for myself. Ten a day is what I averaged. And now, it's great if I make ten in a week. But, on a related side note: that hiatus I took totally cleared out the writer's block and I've been able to bring back my passion for writing.

Sneaking it in...

Jan. 28th, 2012 | 10:50 pm
mood: mischievous mischievous
music: Marilyn my bitterness

So yes, I now work for a huge retail chain probably known to every human being on Earth. But, as it turns out, although they sell things to cater to alternative lifestyles, an associate is not really allowed to show any individualism. Whatsoever. After my first three weeks, the black pants that had been OK'ed by my district hire person were suddenly not okay. So, I relented and bought me some awful khaki pants. They aren't hideous..but I freaking hate khaki pants. And, then I was told that I can't wear my "extreme" makeup, i.e. really bright eye makeup/dark eye makeup and/or really bold lips. And on top of that, about three and a half weeks ago, I was told I can no longer wear colored undershirts. Only white..and possibly grey if I get it pre-approved. So, I bought some white shirts. Yep..you read that right. I don't buy white shirts. Ever. I do own white camisoles to wear underneath light or see thru shirts..but no white shirts. But, I'm getting somewhat shifty.. I'm not allowed to have piercings or tattoos, or really heavy jewelry, so I've taken to adding a piece of small fine jewelry a day. And today, I wore bright muted makeup; it's my small rebellion. But yeah, it went swell. I'll repeat the experiment tomorrow. All they can do is ask me to remove a necklace or take out the earrings. ..or lose a bracelet..or a ring.. yeah. Be Loved Because You Are, Ten-chan*

good day

Jan. 20th, 2012 | 08:24 pm

So, I got everything done that I meant to do today, except for wash my car..but that's ok. I learned how to check and fill my transmission fluids and I ate some delicious steak. I also bought really cute clothing for my really really cute niece who was being sooo cute today! And, hand sanitizer and lotion for work, but that's nothing to get excited about. My car is still acting up...my stepdad thinks it may be my battery or my alternator or a comobopunch of both. Yeah, I'm really hoping it's just the battery..or just the alternator. Both going bad at once would stink. Anyways,

Be Loved Because You Are,

p.s. I had a niece born in October named Lizzie. She's adorable.

Single!! yay!

Jan. 19th, 2012 | 12:06 am
location: at me desk
mood: geeky geeky
music: tehnevsletsplayff4

So, boyfriend felt something was amiss in Paradise, so he scoped out my LJ. He found the unflattering things I'd written and called BS.. even though it isn't. He said I never did anything to get him in the mood. I couldn't have been more obvious. I am not subtle when I'm needing attention. So he called me and wanted to fight it out and resolve it, but I was like ... naa. So, long story short, I'm single. Sweet. He won't be my friend cause he doesn't want to see me move on to someone else. Fat chance.

So, moving along, I'm going to the city tomorrow with my sister, my brother and my cousin. Should be an interesting trip. My check engine light is on my car. That kinda sucks, but I'm kinda thinking that once I get my oil change day after now it'll go off? I sure hope so. I thought it was my battery at first though ..cos yeah, I dun know anything about cars. atall. So, he came out and looked at it and was really nice saying he'd help me clean it just in case it's corroded on the inside bits beneath the exposed plug part things. But yeah, hopefully it's jsut the oil change.

I'm not so good at being a CSM. I mean, I'm doing everything they tell me.. it's just really boring. Except for when it's busy.. and then it's kinda crazy and I feel bad cos the cashiers are working their hineys off to get the lines out and I'm just like staring at my borg implant waiting to respond if they need help or change. And what also sucks, a few of the older associates refuse to acknowledge that I am a CSM simply because they be jellin. I mean, I've been told to take them to task about it, but I'm sure they'll eventually become accustomed to it. It all boils down to.. they don't want the job, but they don't wanna see someone else get it either. It's just plain stubbornness. Although, I will confess, the one lady genuinely dislikes me. ... she actually grunted at me. I wish I was kidding. I had a good chuckle about it.. and her coworker outright laughed and said, "Did she just grunt at you?!"

But yeah, that's my life. I started writing again after a hiatus because now I don't have all these swirling waves of anxiety around me. I am also planning on spending an obscene amount of money on some new Cruel Girl duds. I like their new collection.

Be loved because you are,

Been a Minnit

Dec. 14th, 2011 | 01:06 am
mood: contemplative contemplative
music: glee

So, I haven't really been here in a while, and I'm not sure what's changed, but I thought it might be nice to take a break from writing my novel and actually vent out some stuff...ya know...so that way it doesn't get all mixed in there and fukc up my characters and all..
Wow, hell of a run-on sentence there, huh?
So yeah, in addition to writing said novel, I'm also up for a promotion at work. And, that's awesome.. I hope I get it. I got my sister a badass gift..and I'm getting my boyfriend a badass gift.. and he got me a few badass gifts. Like: a ticket to go see Tori Amos on the last performance of her Night of Hunters Tour. Yeah, I'm beyond excited. But.. and this mega sucks.. as much as he spoils me and tries to be a boyfriend.. there's a vital piece missing. I'm not physically attracted to him. And, I didn't think that'd be a real problem, but it is.. and I tell myself if he were at least amazing in bed, ...we could get past it. But.. he's not. Or rather, he can't be.. cos apparently he's abstinent. By default. And, I'm tired of trying to initiate fun only to be shut down. He never tries. I don't want to feel like an asshole...but I'm kinda thinking I'm going to have be one this time. This relationship just isn't working out.

interesting times

Aug. 2nd, 2010 | 02:19 am
mood: stressed stressed
music: WoW- Do you wanna date my avatar?

I turn 25 in five days. I'm not sure how I'm feeling right now. I have a new boyfriend and he's nice.. and very fun. and he thinks the world of me.. But, I guess I'm still getting used to it. I'm kinda worried that maybe it was too soon for me. I am a slow healer. My heart isn't the sturdy thing it once was. I'm trying though. For every kindness he gives me, I'm trying to match it. And, he does understand. I have told him why I'm having trouble opening up and he's told me, however much time I need he'll accept. It's pretty nice having someone say, "It's ok. Go as slow as you need to. I'll still be here."

I've never had that before. Or if I had, I didn't realize it, so I was always pushing myself. I can't blame everything on the other people.. I did alot of the damage myself. I know this now. My parents came to my house on my sister's birthday a few days ago at eight in the morning. They screamed at me that I wasn't making my car payments and how could I still be in bed and finally they left. Well, I freaked out because I thought that I had slept through my alarm which was set for nine. When I looked at the clock and realized it wasn't even nine, I got really upset. I didn't get to sleep until five am. My parents know I sleep in the early morning hours. I've always been this way. Going to school was a helluva chore for me. So, yeah.. panic attack over, I get online and start filling out some applications after taking a shower. At ten oclock, they show back up and start screaming at me that I'm not making my car payments and how they're going to take it from me. I endure as much as I can before I lose my cool. I yell at them that I do make my car payments, that I make them on time and that I maintain my car. They have never made a payment for me. Not one dollar of the thirteen thousand I've paid for it.

I tell them if they take the car, I will sue them as I have kept every single money order receipt I have ever bought to make my payments. They keep screaming and eventually my stepfather says, "You're nothing but a goddamn liar." I couldn't take it anymore. My therapist told me, if I need to get away from them, then I really need to. Immediately. So, I ask them to please leave. They say, "What?" I say, "Please, leave. You are bad for my health, entirely unreasonable, and you will never believe anything I say because I lied to you when I was eight years old. I was a child. I can't go back and fix it, but you can't seem to get past it. So, please. Get out of my house. Now." Well, my mom starts crying but they do leave. I fill out some more applications, then drive to the store to get my paycheck, pay my car payment (lol), buy my sister's card and present and make a deposit in the bank. I tell my sister everything that's happened and she just shakes her head. Not the first time.

And, I still haven't gotten my skirt from Gloomth. I'm giving them a few days, then I'm going to call. If they still won't work with me, I'm going to the better business bureau. I almost did it tonight, but I'm trying to be the better person. I ordered some socks today as a bday present for myself. It'll cheer me up. So, yay! And, Rasputina on the 7th!!!!!

I can't wait for the concert. I love you all and be loved because you are!!